The Family Advocate is a neutral state official who assists parents in reaching agreements on disputed issues concerning children, namely care, contact, and guardianship. The office operates under the Mediation in Certain Divorce Matters Act 24 of 1987 and the Children’s Act 38 of 2005, and its central duty is to protect the best interests of the child during divorce, custody, and access disputes. Understanding what questions the Family Advocate asks, and how to prepare, can help you approach the process with confidence.
The Family Advocate does not act for either parent. The office investigates the circumstances of the family, mediates where possible, and reports to the court with recommendations grounded in the child’s best interests. Preparing well means gathering the right documents, thinking clearly about your child’s routine, and being ready to answer direct questions honestly.
This guide explains the Family Advocate’s role, the kinds of questions you can expect, and the practical steps to take before your meeting. It is general information, not legal advice, and a family attorney can help you prepare for your specific matter.
What the Family Advocate does
The Office of the Family Advocate is a specialist unit within the Department of Justice and Constitutional Development. Its core function, set out in the Mediation in Certain Divorce Matters Act 24 of 1987, is to assist parties in reaching agreements on disputed issues concerning children, namely custody, access, and guardianship. Where parents cannot agree, the Family Advocate evaluates their circumstances in light of the best interests of the child and provides recommendations to the court.
Under the Children’s Act 38 of 2005, the Family Advocate also helps parents draft and register parenting plans and parental rights and responsibilities agreements. Section 33 of the Children’s Act allows co-holders of parental responsibilities and rights to agree on a parenting plan determining how those rights will be exercised. A plan registered with the Family Advocate carries significant legal weight and may be made an order of court.
The office uses alternate dispute resolution techniques to help parents settle matters without a contested trial. The professionals involved include Family Advocates (legally qualified), Family Counsellors (often social workers or psychologists), and Family Law Assistants. The service is free, and the focus is always the welfare of the child rather than the grievances of the parents.
What the Family Advocate investigates
The Family Advocate investigates anything that bears on the child’s best interests. Section 7 of the Children’s Act sets out the factors a court must consider, and the Family Advocate applies the same standard when preparing a report. The investigation typically covers the following areas.
- The nature of the personal relationship between the child and each parent, and any other relevant caregiver.
- The attitude of each parent towards the child and towards the exercise of parental responsibilities and rights.
- The capacity of each parent to provide care, including financial means, emotional availability, and the home environment.
- The child’s age, maturity, and stage of development, and whether the child has expressed a view on where and with whom they want to live.
- The child’s schooling, religious and cultural upbringing, medical needs, and stability of routine.
- Any history of family violence, substance abuse, or neglect that may place the child at risk.
Where a draft parenting plan or settlement agreement has been prepared, the Family Advocate assesses whether its terms are consistent with the child’s best interests before it is made an order of court.
Questions the Family Advocate asks parents
The Family Advocate’s questions are designed to build a full picture of the child’s life and each parent’s involvement. The interview is structured but conversational, and the topics below are typical of what you can expect.
Living arrangements and daily routine
- Where does the child currently live, and who provides day-to-day care?
- Describe a typical weekday, from waking up to bedtime. Who handles meals, homework, and transport?
- What is the child’s current contact arrangement with the other parent?
The parent-child relationship
- How would you describe your relationship with your child?
- What activities do you and the child do together?
- How does the child respond to each parent, and to other household members?
Health, education, and development
- Are there any medical, psychological, or developmental concerns the office should know about?
- Which school does the child attend, and how is their progress and behaviour at school?
- Who attends school meetings, parent-teacher interviews, and medical appointments?
Discipline, values, and social support
- How do you handle discipline, routines, and boundaries at home?
- What are your views on the child’s religious and cultural upbringing?
- Does the child have a wider support network of grandparents, family, or close friends?
Conflict and safety
- How do you and the other parent communicate, and how do you resolve disagreements?
- Has there been any history of domestic violence, substance abuse, or neglect?
- Are there any protection orders, criminal charges, or prior court orders in place?
The Family Advocate may also speak with the child, where appropriate, to hear their views directly without requiring the child to testify in court. The weight given to the child’s views depends on their age, maturity, and stage of development.
How to prepare for the Family Advocate
Preparation reduces anxiety and helps you give clear, relevant answers. The steps below are practical and within your control.
Gather the right documents
- Your child’s full birth certificate and identity document.
- School reports, attendance letters, and any correspondence from teachers or the school principal.
- Medical and vaccination records, and reports from any therapist or psychologist the child sees.
- Copies of any existing court orders, settlement agreements, or protection orders.
- Proof of your residence and a basic outline of your monthly income and expenses.
- A record of significant communication with the other parent, kept factual and without commentary.
Write down your child’s routine
A clear, factual description of your child’s daily life is one of the most useful things you can bring. Cover the weekday schedule, weekend arrangements, school transport, homework, meals, bedtime, extramural activities, and who handles each task. This shows the Family Advocate that you are actively involved and informed about your child’s needs.
Prepare a proposed parenting plan
A parenting plan under section 33 of the Children’s Act sets out how care, contact, and guardianship will be exercised. Bringing a draft plan, even a simple one, gives the Family Advocate a starting point. Include where the child will live, the contact schedule for the other parent, holiday arrangements, schooling, religious upbringing, and how major decisions will be made. A family attorney can help you draft one that is realistic and enforceable.
Answer honestly and stay child-focused
- Answer questions truthfully and stick to the facts. Speculation or guesswork damages your credibility.
- Keep the focus on the child’s needs, not on your grievances with the other parent.
- Avoid insulting or disparaging the other parent. Raise genuine safety concerns factually, with supporting documentation.
- Be willing to acknowledge the other parent’s role in the child’s life where it is accurate to do so.
Keep calm and organised
Emotional stability matters. Arrive on time, bring a folder with your documents in order, and take a moment before answering if a question is difficult. You may bring your attorney for support, though the Family Advocate may also speak with you directly. If you do not understand a question, ask for it to be rephrased rather than guessing.
What happens after the interview
After the interviews, the Family Advocate may draft a report with recommendations on care, contact, and guardianship. The report is sent to the court and to the parties’ attorneys. The recommendation is influential but not binding. The court remains the final decision-maker on what is in the best interests of the child.
If the parents reach agreement during the process, the Family Advocate can record the terms in a parenting plan or settlement agreement. Where the matter proceeds to trial, the Family Advocate’s report forms part of the evidence the court considers. The full process can take anything from a few weeks to several months, depending on the complexity of the matter and the availability of the office.
Frequently Asked Questions
What questions does the Family Advocate ask during an interview?
The Family Advocate asks about the child’s living arrangements and daily routine, the relationship between the child and each parent, health and schooling, discipline and values, and any conflict or safety concerns. The questions are designed to build a full picture of the child’s life and the best interests of the child.
Is the Family Advocate biased toward one parent?
No. The Family Advocate is a neutral state official whose recommendations are based solely on the best interests of the child. The office does not represent either parent and applies the standard set out in section 7 of the Children’s Act 38 of 2005.
Can I bring a lawyer to the Family Advocate interview?
Yes. You may bring your attorney for support, although the Family Advocate may also speak with you directly. A family attorney can help you prepare your documents and draft a proposed parenting plan before the meeting.
How should I prepare for a meeting with the Family Advocate?
Gather the child’s birth certificate, school and medical records, and any existing court orders. Write down the child’s daily routine, prepare a draft parenting plan under section 33 of the Children’s Act, and be ready to answer questions honestly and in a child-focused way.
How long does the Family Advocate process take?
The process varies with the complexity of the matter but generally ranges from a few weeks to several months. Where the parents agree, it can be resolved quickly. Contested matters that require a full report take longer.
Is the Family Advocate’s recommendation final?
The recommendation is influential but not final. It forms part of the evidence before the court, and the court makes the final decision on what is in the best interests of the child.
Does the Family Advocate charge a fee?
No. The service provided by the Office of the Family Advocate is free. Parents are responsible for their own attorney’s fees if they choose to be legally represented.
Get help with a family law matter. The Family Law department at Otrebski Attorneys advises parents on care, contact, guardianship, parenting plans, and the Family Advocate process from a single office in Sandton. We are a 100% women-led firm with a 5-star Google rating across 12 reviews, a Level 4 B-BBEE rating, and Director Nastasja Otrebski leads the team handling family law work for clients across Johannesburg and the wider Gauteng area.
Disclaimer. This article provides general information about the Family Advocate and how to prepare for the process in South Africa. It is not legal advice and does not replace consultation with a qualified family attorney. The relevant law is set out in the Mediation in Certain Divorce Matters Act 24 of 1987 and the Children’s Act 38 of 2005, both of which may be amended. Confirm the current position with the Office of the Family Advocate or speak to a family attorney before relying on anything in this article.